[for Rogue]

[howmanylives]

Nearly five years and countless disappearances later, and one thing still held true for Jamie Madrox: Rogue was the best and closest friend he’d made on the Island.

(Layla, of course, was in a league all on her own.)

So when he needed someone to talk to who wasn’t a voice in his head, Rogue was at the top of Jamie’s list. Weeks later and he was still wrestling with his and Layla’s decision to start trying for kids — or, at least, to stop actively avoiding having kids. He needed an outsider’s perspective, someone without any stake in the matter to give him some reassurance that they weren’t being extraordinarily stupid.

He knocked on the door of her hut, and called out, “Anybody home?”

Comments

[un_gloved]

"Hmmn. So you take it together." Rogue smiled a little. It was a nice thought, and she was happy for him. He'd been the lowest she'd just bout seen anyone when he'd shown up, and he and Layla hadn't fallen into wedded bliss without their share of rough spots. Their share and a few other people's share too, come to that. It was nice to think that with everything they'd gone through, and would have gone through still, back home, on the island their lives were going to be each other and their family.

For as good at his schtick as Madrox was, Rogue thought retirement might suit him.

[howmanylives]

Jamie arched an eyebrow. "Ideally."

But who knew what the Island had in store for the future? That was the problem, wasn't it? Though as Rogue had just pointed out, the very same could've been said for home.

[un_gloved]

"Real few things in life are ideal, Jamie," she murmured.

"You know it 'n so does she. The question is, could the happiness you get from having a family with Layla outweigh the fear of taking the risk. And that's a call you have to make."

[howmanylives]

"If it happens, it happens," he said, sitting up and curling over himself, elbows digging into his knees as he leaned forward. It was a big decision, but ultimately, they didn't have a lot of stay in the outcome.

"Anyway-" He flashed her a small little smile. "Thanks."

[un_gloved]

"If it happens, you're gonna come over here again pullin' your hair out for nine damn months until you actually get the baby, then y'ain't gonna shut up about how perfect it is and how happy your are," Rogue pointed out.

"So you're welcome, but you better not wear out my nerves with your worrying before she even gets pregnant."

[howmanylives]

Jamie scoffed, rolling his eyes.

So much for the moment.

"Thanks," he said again, sarcastically, fighting back a grin.

[un_gloved]

"Don't mention it, buddy," she replied, grinning wore widely and gently kicking the side of his leg.

[howmanylives]

"You got dinner plans?" he asked. "If you don't, you could come over. I'm sure Layla wouldn't mind. We're testing pizza recipes."

[un_gloved]

"I most certainly do not have dinner plans," Rogue told him, "and I would be pleased to. Have to get England out for a run first, unless you wouldn't mind him tagging along and tethering up outside."

It had been a slow, steady trickle of people leaving for years, at that point, and Rogue knew better than to turn down an evening with friends.

"How's the shop going? Gettin' set up? Need help building yet?"

[howmanylives]

"I don't mind being the cowgirl on the back if you wanna just ride over," said Jamie, grinning a little. Casa Madrox was well off the beaten path.

"But yeah, we've got a place picked out. I've been teaching myself about glassworks in my spare time, for the windows, but we should be ready for construction within the next month or so. You volunteering?"

[un_gloved]

"Always," Rogue said, rolling onto her stomach and pushing herself up to her feet.

"Thirsty? Don't got much- beer, water, coconut water."

[howmanylives]

"Water's fine," he said, slower to stand.

"So what have you been up to lately, anyhow?" he added, eying the guitar for a moment. "Other than making inroads towards your induction into the Tabula Rasa Country Hall of Fame?"

[un_gloved]

She considered how to answer as she poured Jamie a glass of cold water, and then herself one. There were a lot of easy answers, noncommittal answers. She pursed her lips as she mulled them over.

"Gambit's back," she said instead of any of them, and put the carafe of water down as casually as possible.

[howmanylives]

Given that Rogue didn't look particularly happy about this development, Jamie gauged his reaction accordingly.

"...yeah?"

[un_gloved]

The tone of a good friend testing the water. She lifted their glasses and sauntered back over, offering him his.

"Yeah. Showed up in Vegas, bold as you please. He's from a ways ahead."

[howmanylives]

Jamie accepted the glass, taking a sip. Talking about Gambit was like navigating a minefield.

"Learn anything interesting?"

[un_gloved]

"About home? Not much, we didn't get into it," she answered, taking a perch on the edge of her couch.

"It was a little jarring, for the both of us. He knows my real name. Which means everyone back home probably knows it, at some point. I can't wrap my head around it." She took a sip from her glass, looking slightly put out by the idea and shrugged a little.

[howmanylives]

"And here I thought Rogue was your real name," said Jamie, teasing her a little if only to lighten up the tone of the room.

He took a seat on the couch proper, angling his body to face her. "So what did you get into?"

[un_gloved]

She shook her head a little as though to imply not much, but it went on a few moments too long as she felt her throat constrict, and after another moment of pressing her lips into a tight line until she knew she would keep it together, the words, "He doesn't want me," managed to slip out of her mouth.

"He, um." She cleared her throat and tucked her knuckles briefly against her lips then anchored both hands around her water glass.

"Doesn't. Want to be with me. So." She almost giggled, a hollow, laughter-like breath hiccuping out of her and she flashed Jamie a too-bright smile.

"Ain't that a kick in the head?"

[howmanylives]

Jamie never did well with tears, but he wasn't completely useless. Setting his glass down, he scooted closer and put a hand on her back, sliding it up to her shoulder to give her a one-armed hug.

"Hey," he murmured, sticking close. He pushed down an instinctive flash of irritation towards Gambit, but there was no telling what reasons the guy had for turning Rogue down without asking Gambit himself.

Jamie pressed a kiss to Rogue's temple and spoke against her skin. "It's his loss, okay?"

[un_gloved]

"It's not," she said, forcing the words to come out instead of a torrent of petulant tears.

"He doesn't- owe me anything, he isn't obligated to, to feel anything for me at all, it's just." She told herself they were petulant. They were just the reaction to her being frustrated at not being able to have something she wanted. She told herself that because it was less self indulgent than thinking about being something like heartbroken.

"Um. Disappointing." She dragged the knuckle of her thumb across one eye than the other.

"And he cares about me, he wasn't trying to hurt me or anything. It's just. Um. I'm still-" She pulled in and let out a shaky breath and didn't say In love with him.

"And he- isn't. So. I'll just. Deal with it."

[howmanylives]

He suddenly felt like an ass for coming here with his problems, given the circumstances, but Jamie kept his focus on her.

"You're allowed to be upset."

[un_gloved]

"Well, good, because, clearly," she said, lamely forcing a smile, another sob shifting into a nervous shiver of a laugh. She drew one knee up to her chest and leaned into him.

"I just feel stupid. That's all. Well, and- knowing he's here, but not... being with him, that hurts. So, stupid and hurt. It's no way to go through life, Jamie, I'll tell you that much."

[howmanylives]

"Well, no one said anything about going through life like that," he said carefully. "But a few weeks, jeez, I'd say that's understandable."

[un_gloved]

"No one said it but it feels like I end up that way more'n I should," she mumbled. She closed her eyes and let her head rest on his shoulder, taking a few deep, calming breaths.

"Sorry," she said eventually, "haven't talked about it to anyone since he showed up, guess that was... gonna happen when I tried. Lucky you."